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Monday, December 12, 2011

We Need More Victories Over Cancer...

Bean & Ash
My daughters have very big hearts and have stolen mine. They may bicker now and then but they are each other's best friend. In my heart I believe that they always will be because just a few years ago they witnessed incredible sadness. A sadness that even though they were very young has left a very vivid imagery in their minds and very strong feeling in their hearts.

My daughters watched my Mom grieve over the loss of her big sister. Just like Ash & Bean, my Mom and her big sister were the only children in their family. They had their ups & downs like all siblings but they also loved each other very much.

My Aunt had a very long battle with a very rare bone cancer. It wasn't a surprise when we got the call that she had passed but it still was not one that my Mom was ready for. Since I am very close with my Mom all I wanted to do was comfort her. One way I knew to put a smile on her face was for her to see my girls.

When we arrived at my parents' house, my girls knew that their Grandma would be upset and they thought they knew what that would look like as they had just witnessed my Mom lose her Mom about 9 months before this. They weren't prepared for what they saw in my Mom's face and neither was I.

I didn't think about it until we saw her but with my Aunt's passing not only did she lose her big sister and best friend but she was the only person left in her original family unit. She was the one who witnessed the burials of every one of her family members.

On the day of my Aunt's funeral and burial service, my Mom went up to say goodbye one last time at the casket. I have never heard a cry with so much longing before. I have never seen the ache of a heart on the outside of a person's body before.

I noticed that I was crying heavily. I noticed that my girls were crying heavily too. When I held them tighter to me, I asked them what I could do to make them feel better and they both said in two different ways something along the lines of, "Make Grandma feel better.".

As I squeezed them, my Dad went to my Mom's side and put his arm around her back. We were all trying to bring comfort with our arms to the ones we loved.

My girls still talk about their Great Aunt Marilyn. My Mom still shares stories about the two of them growing up as the only children in their home. We both tell my girls that we hope that they will never have to watch the other get very sick and feel helpless that they can't make them feel better. My Mom still tells them that she misses her big sister and most of the time it is with a smile as a warm memory crosses her mind but sometimes it is with sadness.

Sadness because cancer slowly attacked her big sister. Sadness because every time her big sister went into remission the cancer would find it's way back. Sadness because cancer took the life of her big sister before she even left this world. Sadness because cancer left her without her best friend. Sadness because there isn't a cure for all of the many different kinds of cancer out there and there should be...

This post is sponsored by American Cancer Society
but brought to you from my heart.

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8 Comments:

At December 12, 2011 at 9:16 AM , Blogger Erin said...

I am not quite sure what to say, but I could feel the love in your words.

 
At December 12, 2011 at 10:22 AM , Blogger Sara said...

Such a touching post. Your girls are beautiful! Not sure what more to say.

 
At December 12, 2011 at 11:34 AM , Blogger blueviolet said...

My heart just aches for your mom's pain. I'm so terribly sorry!

 
At December 12, 2011 at 11:48 AM , Blogger Mommy Inconsistent said...

This brought tears to my eyes. It's great that you're all so close and that your mom is able to share wonderful stories of her and her sister growing up together...seems like a great example of love for your beautiful girls...such a cute picture too!

 
At December 12, 2011 at 2:22 PM , Blogger Infertile Mormon Mommy said...

Very touching! We lost my grandma to cancer about 2 years ago. I remember how lost my grandfather seemed without her, and now cancer is taking him too. I too wish their was a cure for all of it, it's so sad to lose people when you know there is so much more they could do here!

 
At December 12, 2011 at 4:23 PM , Blogger Maren said...

Your post touched my heart. Losing a loved one like that is horrible. There are no words.

 
At December 12, 2011 at 4:44 PM , Blogger Shell said...

So heartbreaking.

 
At December 12, 2011 at 5:26 PM , Blogger Robbie K said...

There you go making me cry again. I am so sorry for your family's loss and I hope your daughter's never know the pain of losing a sibling.

 

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