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Wednesday, January 4, 2012

Watch What You Say Please...

I appreciate it when people are around my girls and watch their use of profanity but I wish people would think of the other words that come out of their mouths too.

Words like...
  • Stupid
  • Ugly
  • Fat
  • Hate
  • Gay (in a derogatory way)
Those words to me are just as hurtful as the swear words that are out there. My husband and I have taught our girls that words like those above and many more are not ever to be used. The problem is that not only do a lot of adults use these words...so do children.

Several times in a week my husband and I remind our girls that we don't say those words when we hear them out in public, at a gathering and even at church on rare occasion. We are always quick to say, "How would you feel if someone used that word about you?". I'm pretty sure they get it but I feel like we can't stress this enough because it is so important.

My girls know what it feels like to have their feelings hurt and I don't like to see that. I want to protect them from all pains both physical and emotional. I want them to believe in the old chant, "Sticks and stones may broke my bones but names will never hurt me!". Names do hurt though and just like sticks and stones they can leave scars that stay with us for a lifetime.

If you haven't already, please take these words out of your vocabulary and if you can't...then please don't use them around my girls. I want my girls to see the love and the beauty in life.

(Captured this moment with my new Christmas present
from my husband)

Labels: , ,

31 Comments:

At January 4, 2012 at 8:34 AM , Anonymous Galit Breen said...

Important, beautiful message that truly exemplifies *your* heart {which is lovely!}.

 
At January 4, 2012 at 9:01 AM , OpenID pmlevitt said...

A heartfelt wish; and I'm glad you spoke up to advocate for your girls to learn kindness and gentleness from the adult figures around them.

 
At January 4, 2012 at 9:02 AM , Blogger Gia said...

I always thought hateful works were waaay worse than cursing. I don't think s*** or f*** is really that bad to say (though I respect the idea of not wanting your little kids to hear them), but I'm not a fan of hearing the g-ds and j-cs.

 
At January 4, 2012 at 9:07 AM , Anonymous Wendy @ mama one to three said...

So on point. We are careful -- but not perfect -- about speaking hurtfully.

 
At January 4, 2012 at 9:22 AM , Blogger Kristen said...

I love it! My son has started to say "stupid." This "stupid dog!" I have no idea where it came from. *sigh* So - I am right there with you.

maybe add one more word in honor of the other Kristen? The "R" word. Because I know you would consider it on the cuss word list - but so many people don't.

Love the post. The other Kristen

 
At January 4, 2012 at 9:28 AM , Blogger Shell said...

Oh, that pic is beautiful!

My oldest has recently started calling lots of things stupid or people idiots. And it makes me so mad. I'm assuming he's hearing this at school.

I'm trying to explain to him why we don't say these things. They are so hurtful.

 
At January 4, 2012 at 9:43 AM , Blogger Oka said...

Another one I hear among kids is idiot..ugh
I am constantly reminding my kids these words are wrong, and asking how they feel when someone else uses one of the words about them.

I babysit twin 7 yr old boys and their 6 year old sister. The boys have horrible mouths. I have boys 11 and 14 (as well as a 4yr boy and 7 yr girl) and the boys I babysit have mouths much worse(when they think they can get away with it). Funny thing is, Mom babies those children, she thinks she has a shield over them by preventing shows above G rating, etc. I will admit, my kids haven't been shielded as much, but we discuss why things we see are wrong and why we shouldn't do those things. My kids seem to take the lessons to heart. The boys I babysit think it's funnier than all get out to have potty mouths, and use abusive words

 
At January 4, 2012 at 9:58 AM , Blogger Kristin said...

Kristen you are not alone in your way of thinking my friend. The world would be a better place if everyone actually thought about what they were going to say before they spoke. You keep on teaching your girls the value of words and the damange they can cause when used to hurt. Love you friend xoxo

 
At January 4, 2012 at 10:22 AM , Anonymous MEL said...

It's good for us to remember to refrain from using the words; it's a bit tougher to call strangers out on their use of the words, too!

 
At January 4, 2012 at 10:32 AM , Blogger Missy said...

We also have taught our boys to not say the "R" word.

 
At January 4, 2012 at 10:45 AM , Blogger Tiffany said...

I don't let my kids say curse words and a few of your words are not acceptable in my house either. My two have never used gay yet. They're not even allowed to say crap. But fat, is ok, as long as it's used nicely, not to call people names.

 
At January 4, 2012 at 10:52 AM , Blogger Liz @ A Nut in a Nutshell said...

I'm glad you're teaching the girls about the hurtful use of words when you encounter those public expressions. That's a wonderful thing! Names stick with people forever and can have monumental impact on people. :(

I did the same thing with my kids, and I also taught them when we would see old beat-up cars (which society told them were things to make fun of) that maybe those people had those cars because it was all they could afford, and that it might hurt their feelings if we said their cars were yucky.

 
At January 4, 2012 at 11:01 AM , Blogger Branson said...

We are very big on eliminating hurtful words, too. I would encourage you to also add "retarded" to your list! I hope you are able to start a trend... at least with the people close to you! MI have made strides with my adult siblings, and that is a pretty big victory, LOL!

 
At January 4, 2012 at 11:10 AM , Anonymous OneMommy said...

I'm with you on this one! I have to admit, I have to watch it with stupid - never calling people that, but I sometimes say "that's stupid" when I see a commercial or about things.
Kids are kids only once; I would love to be able to wrap mine in a protective bubble sometimes, as unrealistic as that is.

 
At January 4, 2012 at 11:12 AM , Blogger Angie said...

Ugh, the words Hate and Stupid. I can't stand them. My kids seem to use them over and over again no matter how many times we explain that they are not nice and ask them not to. Too much exposure in school I suppose.

I totally agree with you though.

 
At January 4, 2012 at 1:51 PM , Blogger Hines-Sight said...

Hi

I wanted to say that I've enjoyed your posts. I found you via Shell today. I'm taking some time to read some link-ups, and I found your post.

I agree with all that you have said, and I may even be guilty of saying a few. I need to really pay attention to myself. Thanks for the reminder.

As for my dream job.....always wanted to be an actress. Now, I'll say...a travel writer. I also wouldn't mind getting back in TV, but....the clock is ticking.....and it would need to be selective like features, etc.

Leigh

 
At January 4, 2012 at 2:13 PM , Blogger Robbie K said...

We really should be neighbors because I TOTALLY agree with you! I would add retard/retarded and idiot to my list of banned words as well. As my kids get older it is harder and harder to keep those words out of their vocabulary though. Any tips? I remember when Einstein was 3 and he came running to me all in a tizzy b/c Grandpa had used the "S" word. Needless to say he never said stupid around my kids again.

 
At January 4, 2012 at 2:42 PM , Blogger Ali - My Suitcase Full of Tricks said...

I try to stay away from words like that too. Although yesterday I inadvertently taught my son "douche canoe." Can't un-hear a word like that! :)

 
At January 4, 2012 at 3:15 PM , Blogger Maren said...

You are such a beautiful person. I agree with you .. no one should use these words about others!

 
At January 4, 2012 at 4:56 PM , Blogger Grumpy Grateful Mom said...

I'm with you! I appreciated this post! I don't want my kids using those words either, especially not about people!

Though I have to watch myself too. My husband was talking to me about something that happened at work the other day, "That's so stupid!" I said. My girls were listening and called me out on it.

And I love the picture.

 
At January 4, 2012 at 5:07 PM , Blogger Jessica Sweeney said...

I totally agree! Well said. :)

 
At January 4, 2012 at 7:06 PM , Blogger Jennifer said...

Oh I feel ya- my oldest keeps coming home with "stupid" and "hate" and it drives me crazy. Now the 4-year-old is picking up on it and if she doesn't like an outfit she will tell me it is "stupid". It feels like an uphill battle.

 
At January 4, 2012 at 7:08 PM , Blogger WhisperingWriter said...

I have a foul mouth but I really try to watch it around other people.

Love the picture.

 
At January 4, 2012 at 8:57 PM , Blogger angela said...

That is a gorgeous photo.

I understand this so much. I don't want my kids to hear those hurtful things any more than I want them to hear curse words. People are very careless, though I know they don't mean to be.

 
At January 4, 2012 at 9:09 PM , Blogger Sara S said...

Love the picture. Your girls are amazing! Such a wonderful mom you are! Such a great reminder that we need to be careful, and not just with curse words.

 
At January 4, 2012 at 9:23 PM , Anonymous JamieAnne said...

Beautiful picture!

You're right, not all hurtful and harmful words are deemed as "bad words".
Even if they are not "bad words" they are still hurtful.

 
At January 4, 2012 at 10:36 PM , Blogger Adrienne said...

Oh, I hate the words "stupid" and "shut up". Sometimes I think people think I'm stuck up when I say we don't say that. (referring to "stupid"). I swear if it's not the F word people wonder why you don't want to use it. Good post!

 
At January 4, 2012 at 11:59 PM , Blogger championm2000 said...

I was JUST thinking about something very similar today! I drive past a house every day where a girl from my elementary school lived. She was picked on relentlessly, and I often wonder if, in my 1st grade maliciousness, if I said things to make her cry. Yes, 30 years later I wonder. And, I worry--soon enough I will have babies who are in school, and I sure hope the kids on the playground are nicer to them than we were to A--.

Thanks for coming over and checking out my blog! I am super-excited to be following yours now :-)

 
At January 5, 2012 at 12:13 AM , Blogger Jessica {Team Rasler} said...

So true. It didn't used to surprise me but now does how often those words show up in children's books, movies, and TV shows. Ugh! I always make an extra effort to inform my preschooler that those are unkind words and those characters should NOT use them!

 
At January 5, 2012 at 1:31 AM , Blogger Mommy Inconsistent said...

I read Goldilocks and the 3 Bears to my boys tonight and when Goldilocks sat on and broke Baby Bear's chair, she yelled, "Stupid thing"...not necessary. And my son heard the word idiot and used it against another boy once...when I asked where he heard that word he said "Lilo & Stitch." (sigh) Oh, and congrats on your post with the most comments!!

 
At January 5, 2012 at 9:17 PM , Blogger Kristin @ What She Said said...

Important message that everyone should remember - including me. Now that Lil' Bit is soaking up everything like a sponge, I've found myself being very aware of every little thing that comes out of mouth. Even to the cat, whom I have a habit of telling to "stop it," "shut up," or "go away" when he's whining around me. One day, Lil' Bit looked at him and said, "Shut, Boo!" And I hung my head in shame.

My mom is a kindergarten teacher and calls these words "cold pricklies." And it's important to remember that more than just curse words can be cold pricklies.

 

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