I Need A Translator...

I either need a translator or someone who can help me speak so that my children not only hear me but understand what I am saying. Maybe some of you can help me out with this...

These girls look like they understand "Mom speak"
but don't let their smiles fool you!

I say - put your sneakers/cleats on
They - jam their foot into a double knotted sneaker/cleat and complain that it hurts
Do I really need to say - untie your shoelaces, loosen them up, slide foot in, tighten the laces back up and tie into a knot?

I say - brush your teeth
They - sing, dance, chase each other, play with the water in the sink while holding a toothbrush in their mouth
Do I really need to say - stand in front of your sink, don't sing, don't dance, don't chase each other, don't play with the water in the sink...just brush your teeth?

I say - brush your hair
They - pick up the brush, walk to another room, put the brush down and start doing something else
Do I really need to say - stand in front of the mirror and brush your hair so that when it is my turn to go over it you are not crying that there are knots and that it hurts?

I say - put your dishes in the dishwasher
They - put their dishes in the sink or on the counter above the dishwasher
Do I really need to say - get up from your seat, go straight to the dishwasher, open the dishwasher, put your dishes in and close the dishwasher?

I say - put your shoes away
They - put them on the steps that go upstairs to their bedrooms
Do I really need to say - pick up your shoes, walk up the stairs, go to your bedroom, open your closet door, put shoes down on the closet floor and close the closet door?

I say - put your laundry in the hamper
They - put it next to the hamper, leave it on their floor in a pile and/or hide it under their bed
Do I really need to say - carry your laundry to the hamper, open the hamper lid (on hinges, I mind you), dump clothes in and close the hamper lid?

I say - wash your hands
They - quickly rinse their hands under running water
Do I really need to say - turn on warm water, wet hands, pump soap into hands, scrub hands while singing the alphabet, rinse, turn off the water and dry hands?

I am pretty sure that I have been saying the "Do I really need to say" lines since they were little. You would think I would be able to leave out a few words here and there now.

I mean they can take Best Friends Forever and turn it into BFF without a problem!