Note to Self- Put Down That Smart Phone...

Do you ever shut down your computer to only find yourself picking up your smart phone just a few minutes later? Do you ever really pay attention to how much time you are spending on it?

I know I have fallen into a habit of reaching for my smart phone anytime there seems to be a "down" moment. Half the time, I probably don't even have one of the many alarms going off to let me know I have a new email, text, tweet and/or phone call. Why do I keep grabbing for it?

I think I've figured some of it out while on vacation. Even though it is a vacation for me, my husband has had to work a very good portion of it. We've had plenty of alone time, don't get me wrong but I have realized something while he was off at work...I am not good at being alone anymore.

I used to be the girl that would jump on the US Air shuttle from DC to NY for business and catch the latest flight home so I could walk the city and shop by myself. I used to be the girl that would jump into her car and drive to a childhood park just to take a stroll down memory lane. I used to rent movies that I wanted to watch and no one else did, cuddle up with my blankie and laugh and/or cry all by myself and love every minute of it.

I'm pretty sure that girl got lost somewhere when I became a mom. It's go go go right from the start and for the longest time...well, you are never really alone. You go from having a baby who constantly needs you to a toddler that constantly needs you and you are also a wife, career woman and good friend. Your days are filled. Your head hits the pillow in exhaustion and you wake up exhausted.

Now that I have made the change to being a stay at home mom and my life isn't moving at a million miles an hour because both of my girls are in school full time, I feel guilty when I have a free moment and if I don't feel guilty...I feel lonely. So, I pick up my smart phone trying to fill those gaps of time, those times when I feel like I should be busy or times when I feel alone.

It took me a while to put my smart phone down while I was at the resort by myself while Chris was working but I got the hang of it. I enjoyed my alone time. I remember that I actually like hanging out with myself and my thoughts. I remembered that I don't always have to be "on".

So, the next thing I will be working on to improve myself, my family time and my time with the hubs will be to put my smart phone down and enjoy the down time. I know I'll be a better me, mommy and wife because of it!

I'm linking up with Shell at Things I Can't Say for her Pour Your Heart Out meme. You should too! I've met a lot of great blogfers on her link up at Shell is an amazing writer and person!