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A Poem to my Mom...

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Thursday, November 10, 2011

A Poem to my Mom...

In previous blogs, I have written that my oldest, Ash, tends to let her bad moods come out on me. Everyone tells me that this is where she feels safest to let it all out and that it is because she knows that I will always love her no matter what...

Well, even though I am an adult, I was reminded last week that I tend to do the same thing to my mom. When I am ready to explode from the stress of life...I sometimes dump it all on her.

My husband travels a lot for business and sometimes I feel like I am doing everything on my own. I'm not blaming him. Please do not read this in any way against my husband. I just don't have the skills or strength to handle it all on certain days.

I try to bottle some of it up. I try to walk away. I try to vent some of it to my friends. Other days...when my mom just happens to be here at our house when it seems like my world is coming undone. I let it out on her...just like Ash does with me.

I am an adult and I should filter what comes out of my mouth. When I am at that breaking point, I just can't stop matter how hard I try. I lose it...just like Ash.

Thankfully, just like Ash knows that I will always love her I know that my mom will always love me. I know she doesn't like it when I explode on her but I also know she understands that I am at a very low point when this happens and that she will do whatever she can to help me feel better.

So, without further ado...

A Poem to my Mom

I awake with thoughts screaming in my head
I don't want to take one step out of bed

The stress of the last few months has been too much to take
It is much easier to sleep than to stay awake

I can feel the tension of the day starting to rise
I don't want to go out to the bus stop with wet, crying eyes

I get so worried about my daughter drifting away
I want to reach out, take her hand and tell her to stay

In my heart, I know she is there
In my mind, I wish she could know how much I care

I want her to know that even though I do not always understand
that she will always have a safe place to land

I have always been given that second chance,
from my Mom, without a second glance

It was my Mom that had days like I do now...way back when
It is days like now that I know I can always count on her as my friend

Mom, Thank you for putting up with my sass, my meltdowns, my not-so-good moments. Thank you for always letting me know that I will have a safe place to land. I hope that Ash will one day find a friendship with me like I have in you. I love you!

I'm sharing my poem on Mama Kat's Famous Writing Prompts...check it out at Mama's Losin' It. You'll find lots of great blogs to read while you're there!

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At November 10, 2011 at 11:06 AM , Blogger Erin said...

I think it must be a daughter/mother thing because I do the same thing to my Mom. God bless her for putting up with me!

At November 10, 2011 at 2:20 PM , Blogger Maren said...

I used to do that to my mom too, now she lives too far away. ;)

At November 10, 2011 at 3:37 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

You are very welcome. You and ash are my heart. You will never lose each other because ash does know how you love her. Never doubt yourself as mom,your loving and giving . Don.'t be so hard on yourself. Ash will grow up to be a wonderful young woman and all because of your lov and guidance,after all look how close we became as you grew older. Relax knowing your girls grow more special every day because of you. W

At November 10, 2011 at 4:39 PM , Blogger Kristin said...

I understand how you feel. I don't know why we hold so much in for so long, or why we think we can handle it all on our own when that's not how we were made to be. You are blessed to have your family and a an obviously wonderful mother who loves you so much. If you ever need prayer or a shoulder to cry on I hope you know I am here for you too.
Thanks for sharing your heart today :)

At November 10, 2011 at 5:02 PM , Blogger Robbie K said...

Lots of momma daughter drama over here too. Sometimes I wonder if we will both make it out of here :)

Great poem!

At November 10, 2011 at 6:54 PM , Blogger Jenn and Casey said...

Aww! Great poem. Stopping over from Mamakats. I'm sure your daughter knows how much you love her, just like you know how much your Mom loves you! Take care

At November 10, 2011 at 9:08 PM , Blogger Rach (DonutsMama) said...

It's amazing how much more appreciative and understanding we are of our own mothers once we become moms.

At November 10, 2011 at 10:54 PM , Blogger Naomi said...

I do the same thing to my mom!! It's terrible :( But! I'm slowly learning not to dump everything on her. I'm also really thankful that she loves me so much and is patient with me when I'm being like my toddler!!

At November 12, 2011 at 7:17 PM , Blogger jedawson said...

Beautifully put Kristen....Having lost my mom at 16, I am always envious of the relationships I see my girlfriends have with their mom. I hope I can have that with my daughters, and am trying to accept they are all going to stubborn and strong willed as I, but when it comes down to it....they will always have my love...keep up the good work, and tears at the bus stop aren't always bad...they are human ...


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